Epitaphs

Walking around in the graveyard, little flowers peeked underneath the grass. Long blades of grass. Shifting in the autumnal breeze. The ground underneath didn't bear thinking but it should. The flowers. The grass. The stones. The tombstones. Underneath lies rotting carcasses. Bones of death. Flesh decayed. Molten fluid surrendering to the fresh earth. I walked on the grass, crunching mud under my sneakers.

There it was. The one tombstone I was looking for. It was mine.

RIP: Today.

That was it. There was no date. I looked at it. I wondered what lay dead under Today. Memories? Friends? Foes? Thoughts?

Frantic to know, I bent down. On one knee. Dug the earth. Bare hands. Knuckles scraping. The tombstone seemed to be mocking me. Scrabble more. And then it happened. Worms. Wriggling. They crawl onto my hands. My knees. I jumped up. A wordless scream that scrapes my insides. More and more worms. I glance around. The skies have darkened. I run. Away from Today. Glancing back, I see that the tombstone almost seems alive. I run. Faster. And then I stop. In front of me lies Tomorrow. And I..see...that there is no difference. The worms exist here too.

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Time

The last post on this blog was in September 2012. It's now 2013. I can't believe that it's been already three months into this year. It's a year that has begun on a weird, and rather unfathomable note, like my ol' friend, Boy, would say.

I am here - trying to think of all that has happened, and I realize that sometimes life is a complicated exercise in reducing its simplicity. It's the good that becomes too hard, the bad that becomes easier to do, and then we are left griping in the pain of misunderstanding life. This may seem like a vague post - but this is my first attempt to resume writing. I haven't written in months. It's like a piece of myself that I have cast into some bottomless pit. I need to find it. To rediscover all that was good in me and which I feel is lost.

And then I think to myself of one of my favorite quotes. Not all those who wander are lost. I will twist it around. Not all those who are lost will wander. I hope that I won't. Because no one is more lost than I.

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